Not Me Monday

I have not done a Not Me post in a while, so here is quick one for the month of April.

I did not give up my favorite drink, Coke, for Lent and then completely splurge every day since Easter. I absolutely have not gained 5 pounds in my splurgence. That could not possibly be me. I am the epitome of diet and exercise!

I absolutely did not go dumpster diving in the recycling bin so that I could find more coupons. There is no way that I am that addicted to the grocery game. I have no idea whose bottom that is hanging out of a dumpster that my husband has in a picture on his cell phone. All I know for sure is that it could not be me!

I did not punish my son and tell him that he could not play his DS for the rest of the day only to give it to him 30 minutes later to keep him quiet while I volunteered in my daughter’s classroom. I am much too disciplined for that kind of nonsense. No way did I cave that quickly!

There is no way that my son did not win a date with his teacher at his Spring Fling’s silent auction because of me. I mean, he had saved up his birthday money and had been looking forward to this for weeks. It is impossible that I got so caught up on bidding for a game basket that I forgot to check his bidding and he got outbid in the LAST MINUTE! Nope, I’m a devoted mom to my children’s wants and I would never let that happen.

My house alarm absolutely did not go off at 3 in the morning when my husband was not home. I did not barricade my children and myself into my room and have the police come check out my house only to find out that a Diet Coke exploded in the downstairs fridge and set off the glass break. It’s impossible for an exploded Diet Coke to create that much drama. That must have been one of my bad dreams.

It is impossible that the above mentioned Diet Coke exploded because my son was playing with the temperature dial AGAIN. My children always listen the first time I tell them anything, so somebody else’s rotten child must have done it. Not mine!

Somebody has absolutely hijacked my blog because those things may have happened to someone...but it certainly was NOT ME!