Family Camp 2008; Ups and Downs!

I have to tell you, my week did not start off good! First, I had to say good-bye to my Jimmy and that was tough! He cried. So I cried. I think we might really love each other! As exciting as it is to start this whole new life in Colorado, we both sure wish we could start together. As it is though, he has to go up a month before me. So babe, if you're reading this, know that I love you to the last beat of my heart!

(Just remembered this part and it's a great way to start off the rest of the story....at the party the night before the air conditioner went out. So, I woke up and called the the air conditioner experts and they came out. $186 to add a bit of freon. We are very quickly heading to the poor house here!)

Then I head off to Hilde's to pick up Jagger's shoes (which of course I've left there since we so need them this week!). The tv that we brought for Kaylee to watch up front (her brothers have one in the back) does not work so we decide to leave it at Hilde's. Of course halfway to camp I realize I have put the GPS charging cord into the tv case that we left at Hilde's. Fortunately it had enough juice to get me to camp, unfortunately, it died when we left camp which left me dazed and confused for a bit! Other than that, the ride is going great. The kids are happy. We're almost there, let's stop for gas and get some cokes. Got gas. Crap! Where's my debit card? Lost..totally lost! Thank goodness...the ride is over...we're there!

Okay, so bad ride up. It has to get better from here. Right? Um..hello!! This is me we're talking about...it's not quite that easy! Monday morning we wake up and have a great breakfast and then it's family devotion time. The kids will not listen. They gave us this balloon to draw the parallel between not seeing the air inside but knowing it's there and God. Um..three kids..one balloon..you figure out how that went! So, totally disastrous. Then I feel something on me and I look at my arm and there is this iridescent blue snake lizard thing crawling on my sleeve. I freaked out. The poor counsellor with us jumped away, I'm yelling, jumping, falling (really, the counsellor said if I could recreate this dance that I would absolutely win the talent show! I'm still praying for his hateful nature!!). The thing jumps off and I spend the next hour and a half patting myself down. Seriously, one of my hairs fell out and landed on my arm and I about had to go to the psych ward!

The whole day is kind of thrown off for me. I never can quite get myself back together. At dinner we sit with Debbie (whose husband will not arrive until Wednesday) so we keep each other company. Jagger is sitting on his knees eating his dinner very nicely. He finishes up and swings his legs down to sit properly. He sort of does a turn, slips off the chair and hits the back of his head on the table as he goes down. Screaming! Really really loud! I rock him and hold him and tell him he'll be okay. Then about 30 seconds later I go to change position and pull my hand back, it's full of blood and his shirt has a HUGE POOL (not drops, POOL) of blood on it. I stand and yell for help and go running to I don't know where. Luckily there is a pediatrician there this week, Dr. Pierre, and he meets me in the back. I go to look at Jagger's head and with his long hair parting and absolutely drenched with blood, it looks like the lower half is cracked in half. I'm sobbing and going into shock. We get wet clothes, clean water and try to assess the situation. Jagger was being such a trooper. Dr. Pierre finally gets down to the source and tells me it's not that bad. I'm thinking...yeah, he's a doctor and has seen it all, nothing looks that bad compared to the worst. Then he tells me I have to look at it. Y'all...it was a one inch gash in his head. If it had been his face we may have gotten it stitched for vanity reasons but it's the back of his head. An hour later, it's cleaned up, Jagger is running around and mom is wishing they sold rum punches at the camp store!! What a scare!

So I have to tell you that I truly go to camp for my kids. They love it, they have tons of fun and I usually learn how to be a better mom and wife. It's perfect. This week my kids were driving me nuts and I kept wondering when this better mom stuff was going to come up. John Neider, the speaker, was not even beginning to approach the topic of parenting. He kept saying that we had to get ourselves in order and let go of the past so that we don't push those things on to our children. And then on Wednesday he began talking about forgiveness and that's when I knew why I was there. Most of you know, my dad committed suicide 12 years ago. Some of you know that one of my best friend's husbands also committed suicide the day before Father's Day this year. It brought back a lot of memories and hurt and through some wonderful warriors (read David Coker here) I realized I had never really dealt with my dad. So, this was a week for letting go for me. To forgive and to let go of some of the control, so that I could move on. This is big.


I always say that I trust in God. And I do. Like I trust in God to help us find a house in Colorado, but we'll do the work to find it. And I trust in God that James will get the best education that I am searching diligently to find him. Do you see what I mean? I do the work and expect God to follow along. I need to really trust in God. So, I found a way to do that. The ZIP LINE! And yes, it needs to be all CAPS because this is how hugely scary this thing is to me. I walked up at the women's retreat and walked back down. I walked up with Kaylee three years ago and walked back down crying while my 5 year old jumped without hesitation. I am TERRIFIED of the ZIP LINE! So, I am going to trust in God to do this...but good grief I will get this on video! I talk to Smack Down (all counsellors have code names and this is the videographer's) and explain what I want to do and to let me know when he can meet me. I drop Jagger off after lunch on Thursday and the counsellor gives me a message to meet Smack at 3:30 that afternoon. I immediately did not have enough air going into my lungs! I met him. He strapped me up and told me how much God loves me. I told him that I need to do this and he says you don't need to do this, you're going to do this. So true. So he goes up the steps and I follow him. We get to the top and he puts his hands on me with the other helper and says a prayer for me. We both get tied in (he's going down with me on a parallel line with the camera) and I look down and cry. He says look at me, which I do and it calms me down. He starts to count to three...one...two...hold on. I'm so scared. I need to cry some more. Look at me..eyes on my face. I do. One...two....threee and we're off! I cry all the way down and when I am at the end I swing my arms in the air and yell I did it! I trusted in God, stepped out of my comfort zone and totally was not in control. It was exhilarating! Now everyone has asked so I will tell you...No, I did not do it again! I proved my point..no need to get all cocky with it!


The rest of the week went well. We're home now. My kids are still arguing. I still am no better at being a mom (although my kids were at the bottom of the zip line and cheered me on as I jumped and I think they though I was pretty cool for at least a minute in time!), I still miss my husband. But I know, without a doubt, that God is truly in control and I want him to be in the driver's seat from here on out!


Check out the pictures. Kaylee is not in many...it's the age I think. Remember, there are theme nights so I don't want to hear any crazy comments about my 80's bangs!! You can only imagine how I loved seeing the one of James holding the snake!! James also rode the zip line for the first time this week. And the one of James on the microphone is him reciting the Lord's Prayer at the talent show. Enjoy!