And if those pictures aren't proof enough that we were walking with God today...then check this one out. Only God could get these two hugging!!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
I Saw God Today!
We took our first trip to the mountains today. How can you look at this and believe that this is the result of some big bang?!! God made these incredible masterpieces and we were so fortunate to glimpse just a part of them at Estes Park today. God is so good!
And if those pictures aren't proof enough that we were walking with God today...then check this one out. Only God could get these two hugging!!
And if those pictures aren't proof enough that we were walking with God today...then check this one out. Only God could get these two hugging!!
The Decorating Has Begun!!
For those of you taking bets...6 days and 3 hours! That's how long it took me to get my first splash of paint on the wall. My first room was the kid's bathroom and we all love it. It's hard to tell with the lighting but all of the walls are the same yellow that you see in the last picture. Enjoy!
First Day of School
The kids did great on their first day of school. We walked into the office and Kaylee's teacher was there (we had already met her when we signed up on Friday) so she walked to class with her. I love her teacher, Mrs. Kelly. Everyday she has a new tip for me on where to go or how to keep my kids skin from getting too dry. She's fun and funny. Kaylee loves her too.
James had not met his teacher, Mrs. Twiss, yet so we walked him to class. When we got there Mrs. Twiss showed us around and let James pick out what shape he wanted for his name (he picked out a star-how accurate!). Then we went outside and played for ten minutes until the bell rang and he had to get into line and go to class. He was so quiet and nervous...yes, I'm still talking about James. It was so cute to see him that way...a very rare occurrence! He had a great day though and has loved getting up every morning to go. Our only complaint...he goes half day. He is definitely ready for full day...but that will be next year!
I wish I would have gotten a better pic. It's great of the kids. The portables behind them are called "The Cottages" and that's where Kaylee's classroom is. The building is beautiful. I'll have to take a picture of it sometime. Anyways, enjoy what I did get! Oh, and check out the sweaters! We're loving the weather here!!
James had not met his teacher, Mrs. Twiss, yet so we walked him to class. When we got there Mrs. Twiss showed us around and let James pick out what shape he wanted for his name (he picked out a star-how accurate!). Then we went outside and played for ten minutes until the bell rang and he had to get into line and go to class. He was so quiet and nervous...yes, I'm still talking about James. It was so cute to see him that way...a very rare occurrence! He had a great day though and has loved getting up every morning to go. Our only complaint...he goes half day. He is definitely ready for full day...but that will be next year!
I wish I would have gotten a better pic. It's great of the kids. The portables behind them are called "The Cottages" and that's where Kaylee's classroom is. The building is beautiful. I'll have to take a picture of it sometime. Anyways, enjoy what I did get! Oh, and check out the sweaters! We're loving the weather here!!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Arriving in Colorado
I keep thinking of what to write of the drive to Colorado. And I keep not writing things that are happening here because I know I have to get through this hurdle first. Unfortunately though, it was a traumatic experience and I've forgotten everything! hahaha No really, it was not a whole lot of fun, but not traumatic. My wonderful mother-in-law drove with us and we took turns driving. The kids were miserable. It wasn't like it was a vacation though and we got to stop at every cool thing we saw. I was stressed, we all wanted to get there, we were all dealing with feelings for people that we left behind in Baytown..it just wasn't fun for 16 hours. We made it though and when we saw Jimmy and the Rockies...it was all worth it!
So, my house! I love it. Jimmy did an excellent job picking out a house for us without me! Only two issues...it's three bedrooms, not four, so our boys are sharing which is just new for us. The other is my kitchen. While it is big and beautiful, when you try to use it you realize how weird it is. There is so much walking back and forth, from one end of the kitchen to the other, it's just odd.
My very favorite thing about the house is that the garage is on the back down an alley. Only about eight of us houses share the alley so there is no traffic. The boys go outside and ride their bikes all over the place. And as long as I can see them from the window, it really doesn't bother me when they go out by themselves. I also love the windows. In Texas you can have thin windows because there is not really any extreme weather, here, the windows are thick and beautiful. Odd thing to love, I know!
My favorite thing to do is to drive my kids to school. When I pull out of my neighborhood I go up a slight hill. When I pull up to the top I see nothing but the beautiful Rockies in the distance in front of me. Oh my wow! Breathtaking! I can't wait to get my kids off to school just to see that sight!
Okay, so the schools here are different. Texas is very structured and you are always with a teacher or a parent. Here, the bell rings and everyone runs out of class and gets home how they want. My poor Kaylee on the first day, everyone else came out and she stayed back. Finally the teacher brought her out and said that Kaylee had no idea where to go. We have a meeting place now so she knows where I am. Kindergartners are more structured so James is always waiting for me on the grass.
Okay, here's a funny story. I was talking to Mrs. Kelly (Kaylee's teacher) and then this mom walks up with this boy with a small aquarium looking thing. Mom asks if it is okay for him to bring it to class and Mrs. Kelly enthusiastically tells him to bring it on in. I then ask what it is as the boy walks in and mom tells me it's a snake he found in the garden. I said "OH MY GOODNESS!! I WILL NOT BE VISITING THIS CLASSROOM!!!" Who just lets kids bring a snake to class??!! Kaylee came home and said how they let the snake out and pet it and how the boy kept it in his desk all day. Are you kidding me people?! And this morning Kaylee tells me about the tarantula they have in their classroom because they just finished learning about them. OH MY GOSH!!! So, when I picked Kaylee up today she asked if she found a butterfly if she could bring it to class. I told her that it is NOT NORMAL to just find animals and bring them to class. There has to be laws against this right?!! I now have a phobia about visiting my child's classroom!
Okay there's more but the kids are yelling and screaming (imagine this happening inside a small vehicle if you want a better idea of how my trip here went!). I must go be Supermom now and solve all their world disasters!!
Til' next time......
So, my house! I love it. Jimmy did an excellent job picking out a house for us without me! Only two issues...it's three bedrooms, not four, so our boys are sharing which is just new for us. The other is my kitchen. While it is big and beautiful, when you try to use it you realize how weird it is. There is so much walking back and forth, from one end of the kitchen to the other, it's just odd.
My very favorite thing about the house is that the garage is on the back down an alley. Only about eight of us houses share the alley so there is no traffic. The boys go outside and ride their bikes all over the place. And as long as I can see them from the window, it really doesn't bother me when they go out by themselves. I also love the windows. In Texas you can have thin windows because there is not really any extreme weather, here, the windows are thick and beautiful. Odd thing to love, I know!
My favorite thing to do is to drive my kids to school. When I pull out of my neighborhood I go up a slight hill. When I pull up to the top I see nothing but the beautiful Rockies in the distance in front of me. Oh my wow! Breathtaking! I can't wait to get my kids off to school just to see that sight!
Okay, so the schools here are different. Texas is very structured and you are always with a teacher or a parent. Here, the bell rings and everyone runs out of class and gets home how they want. My poor Kaylee on the first day, everyone else came out and she stayed back. Finally the teacher brought her out and said that Kaylee had no idea where to go. We have a meeting place now so she knows where I am. Kindergartners are more structured so James is always waiting for me on the grass.
Okay, here's a funny story. I was talking to Mrs. Kelly (Kaylee's teacher) and then this mom walks up with this boy with a small aquarium looking thing. Mom asks if it is okay for him to bring it to class and Mrs. Kelly enthusiastically tells him to bring it on in. I then ask what it is as the boy walks in and mom tells me it's a snake he found in the garden. I said "OH MY GOODNESS!! I WILL NOT BE VISITING THIS CLASSROOM!!!" Who just lets kids bring a snake to class??!! Kaylee came home and said how they let the snake out and pet it and how the boy kept it in his desk all day. Are you kidding me people?! And this morning Kaylee tells me about the tarantula they have in their classroom because they just finished learning about them. OH MY GOSH!!! So, when I picked Kaylee up today she asked if she found a butterfly if she could bring it to class. I told her that it is NOT NORMAL to just find animals and bring them to class. There has to be laws against this right?!! I now have a phobia about visiting my child's classroom!
Okay there's more but the kids are yelling and screaming (imagine this happening inside a small vehicle if you want a better idea of how my trip here went!). I must go be Supermom now and solve all their world disasters!!
Til' next time......
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Moving Day!!
You know what, I have so much to say about so many things, that I'm not going to write the whole story about moving. Karen wrote about it on her blog at onetexasmama.blogspot.com if you want to check it out there...very funny! However, I will say it was soooooo much fun! Not the work, the work sucked! But the friends, the laughter..oh my goodness, the laughter! and the great fellowship (even the arguing with Hilde!) were all incredible! It made me especially sad to realize what I was going to be leaving.
One story you won't find on Karen's blog is my breakdown moment. Jen and I had started to clean out the garage. We got to the little cubby and she asked me if I wanted the two potty chairs. I told her that this was really hard and no, I guess I don't need the potty chairs. Then I started to cry...I mean boo hoo sob. Jen was so sweet and hugged me and said just remember, you can keep the memories even if you throw away the potties. I started to sob again and told her that I would miss these girls so much...then she was like oh..sooo, this isn't really about the potties right?! hahaha Poor girl thought I was sobbing over potties! Pretty funny.
Thank you so much to all of you that came, you really helped with the moving but mostly you helped make my last weekend home special!
The first set of pics is the arguing with Hilde. My favorite is the chairs. I think I had had enough of Hilde and pretty much told her where she could go and so she decided to just leave the chair there and stop helping. I laughed sooooo hard! And check out her facial expression...classic! And the one of us going out the door arguing..check out Brian laughing at us in the background.
Jen, thanks a million for taking the pictures. I am so happy to have all these memories! And I love you so much more than a potty chair!
Karen, Brian and Joseph...you guys are amazing!! Thanks so much to the Bravos...they even had the kids helping!! Kent, you are always there when my family calls...we can't wait until you come to Colorado in October!!
The kids were so great too. Sometimes helping, sometimes playing, sometimes taking breaks to check the mail. Hallie Mae had to take a nap because she was so tuckered out!
Thanks again to everyone! I miss you all already!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
7 Things I Hate About....
Taking from Miley's idea (7 Things I Hate About You), I thought I would make my own list. 7 things I hate about being a single mom (even if just temporarily), moving and being being broke (because of the move!). This list is in no particular order because their importance changes depending on the day, the time of day, my mood, whatever..
1. I'm depressed! There are boxes everywhere, I have no kitchen table, my house is utter chaos and I'm feeling very unorganized. I'm telling you people...if you have mental issues, try organizing your house, I bet it will help!
2. No TV. Okay, so I thought since we are going through money quickly that I would try to save some and cut off the cable at least. It's been 2 weeks and 5 days. Jimmy joked that we should put James on suicide watch since he's the big tv fan in the house...forget James, it's me having problems! Not because I watch it, but because I put my kids in front of it. I'm all for doing creative, fun, family things with my kids but people...I need a break! I have to pack!
3. Ummm...how to put this in PC terms?? Let's just say, I'm married but not getting to use the marital bed and I'm a single mom but not getting to have any one night stands (this was nicely put by Tricia Campbell who experienced a similar issue). Even though my bed is filled with any number of little hands and feet every night...they aren't Jimmy's!
4. I'm broke. Money is just flying out left and right. It's the little things I miss. Like even going to Chick fil A so that we can have lunch and I can let the kids play on the playground for an hour. (Recurring theme here...I can't seem to get my kids away from me!!)
5. Man work. I have a husband for a reason you know...and that's other than #3. I don't mind mowing but I hate weed eating, edging and sweeping. I had to figure out the chemicals for the pool and then vacuum it out (which took me two days!) I have to bring the garbage cans back into the garage after the trash comes. I hate these jobs!! I'm all for feminism but only when it is in my favor!
6. Adult time. I miss hanging out with my husband in the time between putting the kids to bed and when I go to bed. I love my kids but it seems to be all kids all the time when you're a single mom. I know I'm doing a lot of joking here but really, being a single mom is ten times more work!
7. Okay, I don't really have a number seven. And even I'm getting tired of complaining. I know it's only for a short time and I can't wait to have this all over with and be in Colorado with my husband. We've had a couple of glitches but I know they will come to pass. I am reading Jeremiah right now and I read chapter 29, verse 11 last night. God told me that He has a plan to prosper me, not to harm me, but to give me hope. Even in the midst of this short yucky time, I know that my God is holding me and giving me the strength to make it to the end of this journey.
Keep praying for us!!
1. I'm depressed! There are boxes everywhere, I have no kitchen table, my house is utter chaos and I'm feeling very unorganized. I'm telling you people...if you have mental issues, try organizing your house, I bet it will help!
2. No TV. Okay, so I thought since we are going through money quickly that I would try to save some and cut off the cable at least. It's been 2 weeks and 5 days. Jimmy joked that we should put James on suicide watch since he's the big tv fan in the house...forget James, it's me having problems! Not because I watch it, but because I put my kids in front of it. I'm all for doing creative, fun, family things with my kids but people...I need a break! I have to pack!
3. Ummm...how to put this in PC terms?? Let's just say, I'm married but not getting to use the marital bed and I'm a single mom but not getting to have any one night stands (this was nicely put by Tricia Campbell who experienced a similar issue). Even though my bed is filled with any number of little hands and feet every night...they aren't Jimmy's!
4. I'm broke. Money is just flying out left and right. It's the little things I miss. Like even going to Chick fil A so that we can have lunch and I can let the kids play on the playground for an hour. (Recurring theme here...I can't seem to get my kids away from me!!)
5. Man work. I have a husband for a reason you know...and that's other than #3. I don't mind mowing but I hate weed eating, edging and sweeping. I had to figure out the chemicals for the pool and then vacuum it out (which took me two days!) I have to bring the garbage cans back into the garage after the trash comes. I hate these jobs!! I'm all for feminism but only when it is in my favor!
6. Adult time. I miss hanging out with my husband in the time between putting the kids to bed and when I go to bed. I love my kids but it seems to be all kids all the time when you're a single mom. I know I'm doing a lot of joking here but really, being a single mom is ten times more work!
7. Okay, I don't really have a number seven. And even I'm getting tired of complaining. I know it's only for a short time and I can't wait to have this all over with and be in Colorado with my husband. We've had a couple of glitches but I know they will come to pass. I am reading Jeremiah right now and I read chapter 29, verse 11 last night. God told me that He has a plan to prosper me, not to harm me, but to give me hope. Even in the midst of this short yucky time, I know that my God is holding me and giving me the strength to make it to the end of this journey.
Keep praying for us!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Bunco Babes
I went to my final Texas bunco last night. It was sooo great. Lesley had even bought a cookie cake in my honor. So sweet...the cookie and Lesley!! I think it was one of the best buncos ever...not only because I left with all finger nails in tact, no black eyes, no bruises and I never even went over or under any tables! I did however bunco three times and one of those times I had to grab for my dice and someone (Kathy) put her hand over mine (Oh my Gosh..did I beat Kathy to the dice??!!!!) and so I jumped up and "HiiiYaaa" 'd my hands out of hers (stealing my unknown karate move from my son Jagger!).
We laughed soooo hard! I will miss having girls like you in my life. I promise, each one of you is on my Krista's List of Favorite Things! The highlight of the night had to be Wendy's blond joke though which I had to keep repeating so that everyone got a chance to hear. If you are offended by crude jokes..skip to the next paragraph now. So, there is blond and she has a bruise around her belly button. She has a blond boyfriend. HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! Okay but seriously, even funnier, there were two blonds that didn't get it (Lesley and her mom...obviously the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree here!). I explained it to Lesley. I was not about to explain that to her mom! It still makes me laugh though.
The next best part of the night was that we took pictures at the end. On a serious note...I will treasure these pictures. And each of you. You have all meant something so very big and special in my life. At one point when I was laughing last night I almost started to cry realizing what I will be missing. How long will it be before I make such close friends in Colorado that I will be able to laugh until it hurts again?? I know the power of friendships and you have all made me very proud to be able to share part of your lives with you. I will miss you terribly!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Family Camp 2008; Ups and Downs!
I have to tell you, my week did not start off good! First, I had to say good-bye to my Jimmy and that was tough! He cried. So I cried. I think we might really love each other! As exciting as it is to start this whole new life in Colorado, we both sure wish we could start together. As it is though, he has to go up a month before me. So babe, if you're reading this, know that I love you to the last beat of my heart!
(Just remembered this part and it's a great way to start off the rest of the story....at the party the night before the air conditioner went out. So, I woke up and called the the air conditioner experts and they came out. $186 to add a bit of freon. We are very quickly heading to the poor house here!)
Then I head off to Hilde's to pick up Jagger's shoes (which of course I've left there since we so need them this week!). The tv that we brought for Kaylee to watch up front (her brothers have one in the back) does not work so we decide to leave it at Hilde's. Of course halfway to camp I realize I have put the GPS charging cord into the tv case that we left at Hilde's. Fortunately it had enough juice to get me to camp, unfortunately, it died when we left camp which left me dazed and confused for a bit! Other than that, the ride is going great. The kids are happy. We're almost there, let's stop for gas and get some cokes. Got gas. Crap! Where's my debit card? Lost..totally lost! Thank goodness...the ride is over...we're there!
Okay, so bad ride up. It has to get better from here. Right? Um..hello!! This is me we're talking about...it's not quite that easy! Monday morning we wake up and have a great breakfast and then it's family devotion time. The kids will not listen. They gave us this balloon to draw the parallel between not seeing the air inside but knowing it's there and God. Um..three kids..one balloon..you figure out how that went! So, totally disastrous. Then I feel something on me and I look at my arm and there is this iridescent blue snake lizard thing crawling on my sleeve. I freaked out. The poor counsellor with us jumped away, I'm yelling, jumping, falling (really, the counsellor said if I could recreate this dance that I would absolutely win the talent show! I'm still praying for his hateful nature!!). The thing jumps off and I spend the next hour and a half patting myself down. Seriously, one of my hairs fell out and landed on my arm and I about had to go to the psych ward!
The whole day is kind of thrown off for me. I never can quite get myself back together. At dinner we sit with Debbie (whose husband will not arrive until Wednesday) so we keep each other company. Jagger is sitting on his knees eating his dinner very nicely. He finishes up and swings his legs down to sit properly. He sort of does a turn, slips off the chair and hits the back of his head on the table as he goes down. Screaming! Really really loud! I rock him and hold him and tell him he'll be okay. Then about 30 seconds later I go to change position and pull my hand back, it's full of blood and his shirt has a HUGE POOL (not drops, POOL) of blood on it. I stand and yell for help and go running to I don't know where. Luckily there is a pediatrician there this week, Dr. Pierre, and he meets me in the back. I go to look at Jagger's head and with his long hair parting and absolutely drenched with blood, it looks like the lower half is cracked in half. I'm sobbing and going into shock. We get wet clothes, clean water and try to assess the situation. Jagger was being such a trooper. Dr. Pierre finally gets down to the source and tells me it's not that bad. I'm thinking...yeah, he's a doctor and has seen it all, nothing looks that bad compared to the worst. Then he tells me I have to look at it. Y'all...it was a one inch gash in his head. If it had been his face we may have gotten it stitched for vanity reasons but it's the back of his head. An hour later, it's cleaned up, Jagger is running around and mom is wishing they sold rum punches at the camp store!! What a scare!
So I have to tell you that I truly go to camp for my kids. They love it, they have tons of fun and I usually learn how to be a better mom and wife. It's perfect. This week my kids were driving me nuts and I kept wondering when this better mom stuff was going to come up. John Neider, the speaker, was not even beginning to approach the topic of parenting. He kept saying that we had to get ourselves in order and let go of the past so that we don't push those things on to our children. And then on Wednesday he began talking about forgiveness and that's when I knew why I was there. Most of you know, my dad committed suicide 12 years ago. Some of you know that one of my best friend's husbands also committed suicide the day before Father's Day this year. It brought back a lot of memories and hurt and through some wonderful warriors (read David Coker here) I realized I had never really dealt with my dad. So, this was a week for letting go for me. To forgive and to let go of some of the control, so that I could move on. This is big.
I always say that I trust in God. And I do. Like I trust in God to help us find a house in Colorado, but we'll do the work to find it. And I trust in God that James will get the best education that I am searching diligently to find him. Do you see what I mean? I do the work and expect God to follow along. I need to really trust in God. So, I found a way to do that. The ZIP LINE! And yes, it needs to be all CAPS because this is how hugely scary this thing is to me. I walked up at the women's retreat and walked back down. I walked up with Kaylee three years ago and walked back down crying while my 5 year old jumped without hesitation. I am TERRIFIED of the ZIP LINE! So, I am going to trust in God to do this...but good grief I will get this on video! I talk to Smack Down (all counsellors have code names and this is the videographer's) and explain what I want to do and to let me know when he can meet me. I drop Jagger off after lunch on Thursday and the counsellor gives me a message to meet Smack at 3:30 that afternoon. I immediately did not have enough air going into my lungs! I met him. He strapped me up and told me how much God loves me. I told him that I need to do this and he says you don't need to do this, you're going to do this. So true. So he goes up the steps and I follow him. We get to the top and he puts his hands on me with the other helper and says a prayer for me. We both get tied in (he's going down with me on a parallel line with the camera) and I look down and cry. He says look at me, which I do and it calms me down. He starts to count to three...one...two...hold on. I'm so scared. I need to cry some more. Look at me..eyes on my face. I do. One...two....threee and we're off! I cry all the way down and when I am at the end I swing my arms in the air and yell I did it! I trusted in God, stepped out of my comfort zone and totally was not in control. It was exhilarating! Now everyone has asked so I will tell you...No, I did not do it again! I proved my point..no need to get all cocky with it!
The rest of the week went well. We're home now. My kids are still arguing. I still am no better at being a mom (although my kids were at the bottom of the zip line and cheered me on as I jumped and I think they though I was pretty cool for at least a minute in time!), I still miss my husband. But I know, without a doubt, that God is truly in control and I want him to be in the driver's seat from here on out!
Check out the pictures. Kaylee is not in many...it's the age I think. Remember, there are theme nights so I don't want to hear any crazy comments about my 80's bangs!! You can only imagine how I loved seeing the one of James holding the snake!! James also rode the zip line for the first time this week. And the one of James on the microphone is him reciting the Lord's Prayer at the talent show. Enjoy!
(Just remembered this part and it's a great way to start off the rest of the story....at the party the night before the air conditioner went out. So, I woke up and called the the air conditioner experts and they came out. $186 to add a bit of freon. We are very quickly heading to the poor house here!)
Then I head off to Hilde's to pick up Jagger's shoes (which of course I've left there since we so need them this week!). The tv that we brought for Kaylee to watch up front (her brothers have one in the back) does not work so we decide to leave it at Hilde's. Of course halfway to camp I realize I have put the GPS charging cord into the tv case that we left at Hilde's. Fortunately it had enough juice to get me to camp, unfortunately, it died when we left camp which left me dazed and confused for a bit! Other than that, the ride is going great. The kids are happy. We're almost there, let's stop for gas and get some cokes. Got gas. Crap! Where's my debit card? Lost..totally lost! Thank goodness...the ride is over...we're there!
Okay, so bad ride up. It has to get better from here. Right? Um..hello!! This is me we're talking about...it's not quite that easy! Monday morning we wake up and have a great breakfast and then it's family devotion time. The kids will not listen. They gave us this balloon to draw the parallel between not seeing the air inside but knowing it's there and God. Um..three kids..one balloon..you figure out how that went! So, totally disastrous. Then I feel something on me and I look at my arm and there is this iridescent blue snake lizard thing crawling on my sleeve. I freaked out. The poor counsellor with us jumped away, I'm yelling, jumping, falling (really, the counsellor said if I could recreate this dance that I would absolutely win the talent show! I'm still praying for his hateful nature!!). The thing jumps off and I spend the next hour and a half patting myself down. Seriously, one of my hairs fell out and landed on my arm and I about had to go to the psych ward!
The whole day is kind of thrown off for me. I never can quite get myself back together. At dinner we sit with Debbie (whose husband will not arrive until Wednesday) so we keep each other company. Jagger is sitting on his knees eating his dinner very nicely. He finishes up and swings his legs down to sit properly. He sort of does a turn, slips off the chair and hits the back of his head on the table as he goes down. Screaming! Really really loud! I rock him and hold him and tell him he'll be okay. Then about 30 seconds later I go to change position and pull my hand back, it's full of blood and his shirt has a HUGE POOL (not drops, POOL) of blood on it. I stand and yell for help and go running to I don't know where. Luckily there is a pediatrician there this week, Dr. Pierre, and he meets me in the back. I go to look at Jagger's head and with his long hair parting and absolutely drenched with blood, it looks like the lower half is cracked in half. I'm sobbing and going into shock. We get wet clothes, clean water and try to assess the situation. Jagger was being such a trooper. Dr. Pierre finally gets down to the source and tells me it's not that bad. I'm thinking...yeah, he's a doctor and has seen it all, nothing looks that bad compared to the worst. Then he tells me I have to look at it. Y'all...it was a one inch gash in his head. If it had been his face we may have gotten it stitched for vanity reasons but it's the back of his head. An hour later, it's cleaned up, Jagger is running around and mom is wishing they sold rum punches at the camp store!! What a scare!
So I have to tell you that I truly go to camp for my kids. They love it, they have tons of fun and I usually learn how to be a better mom and wife. It's perfect. This week my kids were driving me nuts and I kept wondering when this better mom stuff was going to come up. John Neider, the speaker, was not even beginning to approach the topic of parenting. He kept saying that we had to get ourselves in order and let go of the past so that we don't push those things on to our children. And then on Wednesday he began talking about forgiveness and that's when I knew why I was there. Most of you know, my dad committed suicide 12 years ago. Some of you know that one of my best friend's husbands also committed suicide the day before Father's Day this year. It brought back a lot of memories and hurt and through some wonderful warriors (read David Coker here) I realized I had never really dealt with my dad. So, this was a week for letting go for me. To forgive and to let go of some of the control, so that I could move on. This is big.
I always say that I trust in God. And I do. Like I trust in God to help us find a house in Colorado, but we'll do the work to find it. And I trust in God that James will get the best education that I am searching diligently to find him. Do you see what I mean? I do the work and expect God to follow along. I need to really trust in God. So, I found a way to do that. The ZIP LINE! And yes, it needs to be all CAPS because this is how hugely scary this thing is to me. I walked up at the women's retreat and walked back down. I walked up with Kaylee three years ago and walked back down crying while my 5 year old jumped without hesitation. I am TERRIFIED of the ZIP LINE! So, I am going to trust in God to do this...but good grief I will get this on video! I talk to Smack Down (all counsellors have code names and this is the videographer's) and explain what I want to do and to let me know when he can meet me. I drop Jagger off after lunch on Thursday and the counsellor gives me a message to meet Smack at 3:30 that afternoon. I immediately did not have enough air going into my lungs! I met him. He strapped me up and told me how much God loves me. I told him that I need to do this and he says you don't need to do this, you're going to do this. So true. So he goes up the steps and I follow him. We get to the top and he puts his hands on me with the other helper and says a prayer for me. We both get tied in (he's going down with me on a parallel line with the camera) and I look down and cry. He says look at me, which I do and it calms me down. He starts to count to three...one...two...hold on. I'm so scared. I need to cry some more. Look at me..eyes on my face. I do. One...two....threee and we're off! I cry all the way down and when I am at the end I swing my arms in the air and yell I did it! I trusted in God, stepped out of my comfort zone and totally was not in control. It was exhilarating! Now everyone has asked so I will tell you...No, I did not do it again! I proved my point..no need to get all cocky with it!
The rest of the week went well. We're home now. My kids are still arguing. I still am no better at being a mom (although my kids were at the bottom of the zip line and cheered me on as I jumped and I think they though I was pretty cool for at least a minute in time!), I still miss my husband. But I know, without a doubt, that God is truly in control and I want him to be in the driver's seat from here on out!
Check out the pictures. Kaylee is not in many...it's the age I think. Remember, there are theme nights so I don't want to hear any crazy comments about my 80's bangs!! You can only imagine how I loved seeing the one of James holding the snake!! James also rode the zip line for the first time this week. And the one of James on the microphone is him reciting the Lord's Prayer at the talent show. Enjoy!
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